a conversation with fargo

Fargo: Lenny gave me his juice.
It was intended for popsicle making.
Having no “popsicle makers,” per se… I sought other uses.
Hellchick: (listening)
Fargo: First, I poured it into pancake dough for breakfast.
Hellchick: !
Fargo: I wouldn’t call the results so much, “Cherry Pancakes,” as I would, “cherry-COLORED pancakes that nonetheless taste like ordinary ones.” I wouldn’t call it a failure, but rather a successful experiment that yielded negligible results. Like the shuttle program. But for breakfasts.
Hellchick: Excellent.
Fargo: But now, once the box of juice was opened, it was to go bad in three days. The clock was ticking. I owed it to Lenny to somehow freeze and consume the sourcherry juice, as was his intent.
After all, it looks like he procured the stuff in Russia. I can only assume it was smuggled out, presumably via train.
Hellchick: He had to trade 1500 rubles for that stuff!
Fargo: Yet, I lacked any sort of container even RESEMBLING a popsicle shell. Despite having plenty of sticks. Then I noted the wineglasses. My first thought was, “I can’t just pour it into a wineglass and freeze it. I’ll have a solid chuck of cherry juice and no conceivable way of eating it.”
My second thought was that I had spent far too long thinking about this problem — “wasting too many cycles,” as my brother would say. Because I was at an impasse, I filled up two wineglasses with cherry juice and placed them into my freezer. I figured I’d stir them intermittently, develop a slush, and spoon it out delicious spoonful by delicious spoonful.
…but then I forgot about them.
Hellchick: uh Oh.
Fargo: The next morning I had — as I predicted — two solid cherry chunks imprisoned in very nice, very thin stemware.
Hellchick: Oh no…
Fargo: But nonetheless I took a fork and scraped off some shavings from one glass and IT WAS REALLY GOOD!
But I obviously couldn’t start jabbing a fork in there. So I put one in the fridge, hoping to allow it to melt a little into the venerated slushy state I has originally intended.
…but then I forgot about it, as well.
Hellchick: !
Fargo: Until today. Fortunately, it had not all melted. It retained a slushy core.
I chopped it up with a spoon and ate a spoonful … IT WAS FROZEN JOY. I think I’m on to something.
But the rest was melted, so I put that half-wineglass in the freezer and took the full wineglass and put it inot the fridge. Unfortunately, now Crystal is home and demands some sort of explanation. It’s a very long story.
But I’m near some sort of breakthrough. I may need to involve the blender — but I’m close!
Hellchick: You’re a mad cherry scientist.
Fargo: I think the solution is in freezing the cherry stuff in an ice cube tray, then dropping it into a blender, pulverizing it, and pouring it into a wineglass.
I prefer … WILD cherry scientist.